she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i will never coherently bang her
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
