adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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