she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize