Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
