A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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