I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
