I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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