Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
