we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
