Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
