she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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