nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
