that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
