This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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