You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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