I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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