I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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