dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
