At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
