She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
