I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
