i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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