Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
