We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
