he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
