well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
