Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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