when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
