I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
