Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
