called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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