big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
