peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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