I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
