Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
