Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
