When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
