The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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