You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
