don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
