Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
