It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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