my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
