So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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