you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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