Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
