if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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