why do cheetos always look like penises
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
