The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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