I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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